I know that I want to wrap something from Alex under the tree for Emma so she knows he's thinking about her. But I've been wondering what to do about a stocking. If he was still here, he'd definitely have gotten a stocking as well. Would it be wrong to put one up for him anyway?
I hate that I even have to think about this. Why can't I just be trying to decide which stocking to get instead of trying to figure out whether or not I buy one for my dead child.
I'm very much missing holding him tonight.
I just realized that his flowers on the bookshelf died. I'll need to get some more tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn't have any up there. Seems like it's a constant reminder of death.
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