Friday, November 18, 2011

Christmas thoughts

I know that I want to wrap something from Alex under the tree for Emma so she knows he's thinking about her.  But I've been wondering what to do about a stocking.  If he was still here, he'd definitely have gotten a stocking as well.   Would it be wrong to put one up for him anyway? 

I hate that I even have to think about this.  Why can't I just be trying to decide which stocking to get instead of trying to figure out whether or not I buy one for my dead child.

I'm very much missing holding him tonight. 

I just realized that his flowers on the bookshelf died.  I'll need to get some more tomorrow.  Maybe I shouldn't have any up there. Seems like it's a constant reminder of death.

No comments: