I'm torn between 2 very different thoughts. "Wow, it's been 2 months already??" and "It's ONLY been 2 months??" Strange.
I've been really angry lately. At everything. I wake up angry and I go to bed angry.
I'm still having a really hard time accepting this pregnancy. Every twinge or cramp makes me spazz out in fear. I'm angry that I have to wait another 9 months to hold a baby again. I'm angry that it won't actually be Alexander that I'll be giving birth to.
Someone told me recently that I deserved for this to happen to me. Normally it wouldn't bother me because of the source, but it really struck a nerve. I've done things in the past that I'm not proud of. I've learned from them and changed as a result. But is it karma? Did I deserve for this to happen? Maybe I did.
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