Alex was up in heaven, looking down. He kept seeing you crying and he was confused cuz he was just a baby. Jesus walked by and Alex grabbed him by the robe.
"Hey Jezo," Alex said, "Why is my mommy crying? She got to hang out with me, like, my entire life!"
"She's upset that you're not with her still, A-bone. She loved you so much that it's very hard for her to carry on. She knows you're up here and that living conditions are pretty good, but she doesn't know about the chocolate milk water slide, the Baskin Robbins on every corner (instead of Starbucks), or the endless sea of lady babies to keep you company, stud. I'm sure if she saw how happy you were, it might make her stop crying," replied Jesus.
"I suppose you're right, Jesus. Still... I know she's thinking about me and that it hurts. I need to find a way to show her that I'm doing really well up here. I'm learning lots and I'm already a 7th grader. That's how smart I am! I need to find a way to give mommy a sign that everything will be okay."
Alex hopped on his motorcycle and took a ride to his favorite cloud. He began to think. Alex knew his mommy was seeing all the rainbows he was throwing down for her and he was appreciating all the balloons he was receiving in return. He then asked a few of his lady friends for ideas. They all thought he was super cute cuz he cared about his mommy so much. They had a few ideas.
"Call up edible arrangements and send her some strawberry flowers!"
"Oooh, how about having a hershey's kisses truck jacknife in front of her house so she can have unlimited kisses from you!"
"How about covering her house in a billion beautiful butterflies so that when she gets home from grocery shopping, they all fly away at once!"
"No," Alex replied, "I'm gonna need to call the big guns on this one."
Alex hopped back onto his motorcycle and took off towards the tallest tower in Heaven. When he got there the guards asked him his business and he told them he needed to see beard man (Alex is so articulate and has such a large vocabulary but for some reason, still can't pronounce "god." Go figure.). The guards called up and lifted the huge gate and Alex hopped on the escalator to God. He had only been there once before but really enjoyed it because the entire way up was accompanied by the song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and he just really liked the message in the lyrics. When he arrived at the top, God looked at him with the warmest smile you can imagine.
"A-money! Long time no see! You're looking great! Have you been working out?"
"Actually, yes, I've really been working my beach muscles, thanks for noticing," Alex replied. "I am here for a reason, though, beard man. Every night when I look down at mommy, she's crying. I know she's sad I'm gone but I've been trying to find ways to show her I'm alright. I finally came up with the ultimate idea, but I need your help."
"Anything for my favorite baby," God answered, "what can I do?"
Alex, a little embarrassed, looked around, then walked up and whispered something into God's ear. God's eyes grew big and his smile was the largest anyone had ever seen.
"Alex, that's perfect!!! I will do it tonight. I'd let you watch but no child should see their parents... making a baby."
Alex thanked beard man and jumped for joy, high fiving all the guards on the way out. That very night, Alex's mommy and daddy totally got it on. It was so hot. God sent Alex an email that his gift had been given. Completely excited, Alex watched for days and weeks and waited for his mommy to find out. Mommy was so excited that she cried and cried. Alex knew that mommy knew it was a gift from him. Alex wasn't even jealous because he knew that whether mommy had one more child or twenty more children, that she would never forget him and one day she would join him in heaven to meet all of his lady baby friends and go with him down the chocolate milk water slide.
"I never want you to be sad again, mommy. I love you and I hope this shows you that!"
"Hey Jezo," Alex said, "Why is my mommy crying? She got to hang out with me, like, my entire life!"
"She's upset that you're not with her still, A-bone. She loved you so much that it's very hard for her to carry on. She knows you're up here and that living conditions are pretty good, but she doesn't know about the chocolate milk water slide, the Baskin Robbins on every corner (instead of Starbucks), or the endless sea of lady babies to keep you company, stud. I'm sure if she saw how happy you were, it might make her stop crying," replied Jesus.
"I suppose you're right, Jesus. Still... I know she's thinking about me and that it hurts. I need to find a way to show her that I'm doing really well up here. I'm learning lots and I'm already a 7th grader. That's how smart I am! I need to find a way to give mommy a sign that everything will be okay."
Alex hopped on his motorcycle and took a ride to his favorite cloud. He began to think. Alex knew his mommy was seeing all the rainbows he was throwing down for her and he was appreciating all the balloons he was receiving in return. He then asked a few of his lady friends for ideas. They all thought he was super cute cuz he cared about his mommy so much. They had a few ideas.
"Call up edible arrangements and send her some strawberry flowers!"
"Oooh, how about having a hershey's kisses truck jacknife in front of her house so she can have unlimited kisses from you!"
"How about covering her house in a billion beautiful butterflies so that when she gets home from grocery shopping, they all fly away at once!"
"No," Alex replied, "I'm gonna need to call the big guns on this one."
Alex hopped back onto his motorcycle and took off towards the tallest tower in Heaven. When he got there the guards asked him his business and he told them he needed to see beard man (Alex is so articulate and has such a large vocabulary but for some reason, still can't pronounce "god." Go figure.). The guards called up and lifted the huge gate and Alex hopped on the escalator to God. He had only been there once before but really enjoyed it because the entire way up was accompanied by the song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and he just really liked the message in the lyrics. When he arrived at the top, God looked at him with the warmest smile you can imagine.
"A-money! Long time no see! You're looking great! Have you been working out?"
"Actually, yes, I've really been working my beach muscles, thanks for noticing," Alex replied. "I am here for a reason, though, beard man. Every night when I look down at mommy, she's crying. I know she's sad I'm gone but I've been trying to find ways to show her I'm alright. I finally came up with the ultimate idea, but I need your help."
"Anything for my favorite baby," God answered, "what can I do?"
Alex, a little embarrassed, looked around, then walked up and whispered something into God's ear. God's eyes grew big and his smile was the largest anyone had ever seen.
"Alex, that's perfect!!! I will do it tonight. I'd let you watch but no child should see their parents... making a baby."
Alex thanked beard man and jumped for joy, high fiving all the guards on the way out. That very night, Alex's mommy and daddy totally got it on. It was so hot. God sent Alex an email that his gift had been given. Completely excited, Alex watched for days and weeks and waited for his mommy to find out. Mommy was so excited that she cried and cried. Alex knew that mommy knew it was a gift from him. Alex wasn't even jealous because he knew that whether mommy had one more child or twenty more children, that she would never forget him and one day she would join him in heaven to meet all of his lady baby friends and go with him down the chocolate milk water slide.
"I never want you to be sad again, mommy. I love you and I hope this shows you that!"
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